Can You Draw a Perfect Circle

In September of 2018 multi-genre artist, Mac Miller tragically passed away, in his home in Los Angeles, of a drug overdose at the age of 26. The news of this tragedy shattered the hearts of his fans all over the world. Even though his career was cut drastically short, he still had an extensive career with over 250 songs spread over 12 albums/mixtapes, and a rumored 8,000 unreleased tracks and snippets. In 2015, years before Mac’s overdose, he released, “Perfect Circle/Godspeed” where he combined two different songs together making a near eight-minute track. Within the song, Miller opens up about his battle with drug addiction and how it affects many aspects of his life. Throughout the song, Mac shows both the chaotic and the shameful sides of drug addiction by connecting both parts of the track together, writing lyrics to share his honest experience, and adding in background voices and effects.

Both halves of the song play a crucial role in explaining different parts of drug addiction. The first half of the song is called “Perfect Circle”. This portion of the song makes listeners feel as if they are a fly on the wall witnessing the chaotic blur of drug-use that is Mac’s reality. The music is very fast paced and has a upbeat sound. As the song continues, it transitions into the second half which is called “Godspeed,” where we start to see Mac’s reflection on his own actions and the shame that follows it. The two different parts are very distinct, and it is very clear that Mac wanted to show both the high highs, and the low lows that come with his drug use. The opposition of the two halves make each one rely on the other. The song would not communicate the internal confusion and struggle that Mac was experiencing without having the contrast in the track. It is also unique for an artist to pair songs together in this way, so it is not to be ignored. He wanted everyone who listens to the first part to have to listen to the second part as well.

The lyrics of each part of the song, communicate how Mac’s drug addiction is affecting his life. In the “Perfect Circle” part of the song, Mac shows his recklessness and how he would lash out at others for calling out his addiction. He blatantly states, “Can you draw a perfect circle? Lot of lies cover the truth, you got options, what do you do? I wash these pills down with liquor and fall, Leave it to me, I do enough for us all (I do), Got what you need if you like breaking the law, My mother raised me a God.” This chorus shows how much of a vicious cycle it was for Mac. This lifestyle has made him feel unstoppable and his drug usage is almost normalized within his perspective. He tries to humanize himself by showing others that nobody is perfect and using drawing a circle to allude to that idea (Genius). Using drugs and partying have become so necessary in his life that he doesn’t notice the consequences and downsides in the moment. In one of his lyrics, Miller describes a conversation, “She say ‘I thought you got sober,’ And I say ‘I wish you'd stop being a bitch, And get to minding your business.’" This lyric shows that the people around him were aware of his struggles and even just asking him questions about it would cause him to get defensive. Hearing his loved ones point out his actions and question his intentions causes a ton of anger and an explosive reaction. For Mac to be willing to reveal these dark patterns and habits through his music just amplifies the emotion and power of his lyrics. He admits that he doesn’t want people to interfere with his lifestyle, which reveals the negativity and hate that stemmed from the effects of his drug-use.

The lyrics in the “Godspeed” section of the song have a completely different energy. Miller’s Words are nearly all remorseful and full of shame. He uses self-aware lines like, “I swallow my pride and I'm higher than what's making me mad, Everybody say I need rehab, Cause I'm speedin' with a blindfold on and won't be long 'til they watching me crash.” Lines like these show that he is completely aware of what he was doing and the dangers it could have on his health. Although everyone around him was encouraging him to get help, he didn’t want it at the time. Mac’s career and lifestyle put him in a negative headspace with dangerous actions, and every vice that he relied on only deepened the struggle that he faced (Moose Music). He also shows his honesty through the lines, “But white lines be numbing them dark times, Them pills that I'm popping, I need to man up, It's a problem, I need a wake up, Before one morning I don't wake up.” He knew exactly what the consequences to his actions could become, yet he is so raveled into his addiction that he can’t find a way out. Mac’s self-awareness in his writing allows listeners to peek inside the mind of someone who is really struggling with their addiction and the internal fight that he was dealing with.

There are many sound effects and ad-libs that contribute to Mac’s song and communicate his addiction and mental health issues that were a result of it. One of the most notable and meaningful to me personally is the background ad-lib of “F-U” that is very frequent through the first half of the song. Mac was in such a state of defense and this line shows what he was saying to everyone who was questioning his habits. Mac lashing out at the people around him is a theme from the entire first section of the song, and as the song transitions to, “Godspeed,” it is revealed that his reactions to others are a projection of how he feels about himself. Another aspect of sound effects that Mac used was adding a heartfelt voicemail in between the two halves of the song. Within the voicemail, Mac’s brother shares his love and wishes the best for him (DJ Booth). This just proves that although Mac had a support system that was there for him and loved him, he had so many internal problems and struggles that it wasn’t enough. No matter how many people were there and supporting him, the lifestyle and drug use was more of a priority in his altered mind.

Throughout “Perfect Circle/Godspeed,” there are many unique ways that Mac Miller expresses his struggles with drug addiction. Instead of focusing on the good or the bad Mac takes listeners on a journey through both.

He pairs two songs together within the track that each give a different perspective of his experience during his drug use. The lyrics and sound effects of the song also reveal Mac’s emotions and internal conflict with wanting to get sober, but prioritizing the drugs still. This song has a powerful message and can be very relatable to anyone who has had or who knows someone who has had issues with addiction. Mac Miller as a writer has a special gift of being able to translate emotions and real world feelings into musical art. The song has the ability to show that not everyone is perfect and that people may be aware that their actions are dangerous, but not have the tools to find a solution.